Archive for the ‘ Humor ’ Category

Tom Cruise on Home Teaching

July 28, 2010 5:14 pm | No Comments

Why LDS Women Stress

March 3, 2010 11:19 pm | No Comments

As Latter-day Saint women, we are practically obsessed with anxiously engaging ourselves in good causes. Maybe it’s subliminal.

Glancing through the hymnal last Sunday I noted that as sisters in Zion, we who are called to serve are all enlisted to go marching, marching forward because the world has need of willing men to all press on scattering sunshine. We wonder if we have done any good in the world today because we have been given much and want to do what is right, keep the commandments, press forward with the Saints, choose the right, and put our shoulders to the wheel going where He wants us to go. However, as the morning breaks high on the mountaintop, truth reflects upon our senses, and while we still believe that sweet is the work, we also realize that we have work enough to do ere the sun goes down.

And thus we ask Thee ere we part, where can we turn for peace?

Are You God’s Wife?

February 26, 2010 3:15 pm | No Comments

From an eye witness account from New York City , on a cold day in December, some years ago

A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said, ‘My, but you’re in such deep thought staring in that window!’

‘I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,’was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed
his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks.. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him
a pair of shoes..

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, ‘No
doubt, you will be more comfortable now.’

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears
in his eyes, asked her.

‘Are you God’s wife?’

The Ant and the Grasshopper

January 31, 2010 10:38 am | No Comments

Revised Edition for Our Times

The following is the liberal “common good” version of the old favorite, the Ant and the Grasshopper:

Remember the ant and the grasshopper?

OLD VERSION . . .

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long.
He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool.
He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The moral to the story being: BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEW VERSION . . . (sad but true)

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long.
He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool.
He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and fed, while others are cold and starving!

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of shivering grasshoppers, next to a video of an ant in his comfortable home, with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast!
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer this way?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah, with the grasshopper.
Everyone cries when they sing “It’s Not Easy Being Green”.

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house, where the news stations film the group singing “We Shall Overcome”.  Jesse then has the group pray for the grasshopper’s sake, and reminds the group to contribute to his group, so that he can “continue the fight” for grasshoppers, everywhere!

Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim, in an interview with Tom Brokaw, that the ant has gotten rich, off the back of the poor grasshopper!
Both call for an immediate tax hike, to make the ant pay “his fair share”!

Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity For Grasshoppers Act”, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire the proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his house is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper, in a defamation suit against the ant.  The case is tried in federal court, with a jury comprised of unemployed welfare recipients.

Surprise! The ant loses the case!

The story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food, while the government house he lives in (which happens to be the ant’s old house) crumbles around him, due to lack of maintenance!

The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found, dead, in a drug-related incident.
The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders, who terrorize this once-peaceful neighborhood.

The moral of this version? Think before you vote!

Tell your friends we're here!